It shouldn’t hurt,
it should be painless.
The light breeze when you are outside
exploring the city during spring kind of feeling.
Everything and everyone in this moment,
this very second,
you wanted it with every part of your being.
This road leading to me will ultimately
lead you back to yourself.
The ocean here is a heart
and I have been creating a sandcastle
that is tall enough to seek you out in it.
I won’t be the one you’ll show off to your pals.
But you’ll think about me.
Some days hold no value to me anymore.
Some thinking about who I am as a writer
and what it means to express,
what it means to say I love you.
Some thinking about loving someone enough
to let them grow without you.
Some thinking about loving yourself enough
to come to terms with it.
Some day someone will treat you better than I ever will,
some day someone will ask you to marry him,
some day someone will have your smile,
some day someone will leave you letters in the closet,
some day someone will pretend to spoon feed you at the dinner and pull you in for a kiss,
some day someone will write poems for you.
He will be right beside you,
by your side,
when the sun hits your cheeks through the curtains
and you’re struggling to get off the bed.
He will swing those curtains to let the sun
shine brighter on you.
He will sing for you while you are in the shower.
He will hold you when you have nightmares.
He will reason you intellectually when you argue about
art and poetry.
He will guard you down the lane.
He will be healthy.
He will be perfect,
and even if he won’t be,
he will make you forget about me.
You are so colorful and glittery
down the bristles of your soul.
I want to paint your life with this love
but some day, he will,
like I would have done for you.
He will squeeze your palms
like I almost did the other day.
He will hold your hands and
ask for a walk.
The moon will be out there
for you to enjoy the night.
I have seen who I am
and I am still lost.
You are more than I can ask for,
you are more than you know.
Do you ever feel like there’s something
wrong with the way that we are?
I feel like am I exploring the depths
of a sea that was never designed for swimming.
We get healed but we never forget.
Happily living with someone is the ultimate
remedy for all illness of life
because everything is then in perfect harmony,
being perfectly independent with them.
I have absolutely no regrets.
Neither I have considered many failures.
If I am preparing a cake and it fails,
it becomes a pudding.
That’s how I put it.